Gestural Self-Portrait Series
My concept was on the expectation to portray oneself in an attractive manner on social media platforms, or specifically, in self-portraiture. In young females, attractiveness is merged with sexuality, to be visually appealing you are expected to have a sense of maturity and sensuality regardless of age. Even if unintentional, young females are frequently seen as sexual, and in self-portraiture there is an association with narcissism. This is a paradox, as women are expected to be attractive and sensual, but are also shamed for it. This series has an underlying sense of sensuality, with dark eye makeup that ages the subject, and red lighting which is associated with power and sex. The first image depicts lipstick application, only half the face is visible and there is an almost orchestrated manner of application. Mouths and lips are associated with sexual acts, even if this is just an image of a lipstick application, it is still an image that would potentially be considered erotic. The next image is the subject peering to the right, half the face obscured into a distorted blur. The subject seems unhappy, and uncomfortable. Following this is the subject staring intently at the camera, lips blurring into the smoke cloud. There is hard red lighting cutting into the eye and facial features. The body is more evident, and it is clear the subject is wearing a black bra. A red ribbon obscures the subject’s eyes in the sequential image, a small almost-but-not-quite smile rests on the lips. The black bra is more in focus. Returning to a closer shot, the next image obscures the majority of the models face into a confusing collection of bokeh and textures. The viewer is drawn to the white of the eye which is looking off frame. Following this photo, a shot shows more of the model's body, though half is sliced by a red ribbon, and only an eye is visible now. More color is evident in the image after this, motion blur captures the subject's head moving, as their clasped hands rest upon knees, the first and only shot depicting parts of legs. Finally, mirroring the starting shot is the contrasting process, removing the lipstick that was carefully applied to start the sequence. This image is grittier, more textured, and the skin is imperfect. Overall, no full face was depicted in any composition, neither was a smile. This depicts the discomfort of the subject, and the disconnect from the idea of sexuality. It is as though the subject feels less of a willingness in this portrayal of themselves, and more of a reluctant acceptance. Though these are nice images of myself, I felt uncomfortable showing them. I found some power in it regardless, but there was the thought that I struggled between choosing which one fit my theme more or which one I felt more attractive in. As a female at birth, I struggle with balancing what I feel is myself, and what I feel I have to portray to appear attractive. I was very grateful to listen to other people's accounts and opinions on the subject of the images, and I enjoyed exploring self-portraiture.
